What’s Happened to God’s Church?

By Lora Lee Maas

February 19, 2025

This morning, I decided to listen to Christian music while I showered. To spend that time in worship. That was my habit. . . before. But lately, I’ve just wanted silence. Not because I didn’t want to worship, but because I was still numb. Still grieving.

It’s been over a year since we left our beloved church, and the numbness was just beginning to wear off. I longed to get back into some kind of rhythm in my life again. Some kind of normalcy. Plus, I love music, especially praise and worship music, it fills and feeds my soul, so I thought, today’s the day Lord. I turned the radio up and jumped in the shower. Everything was good until . . . a song we used to sing at church started. Immediately my tears fell. The loneliness created by their control, lies and betrayal came crashing back. Lord, when will this grief go away?

I tried to understand why this song triggered me so. I do know, because of my past, trusting people never came easy. It takes me an extraordinarily long time to put myself out there and be vulnerable. Especially since I had experienced major church hurts four separate times, all involving spiritual and/or sexual abuse, lies and secrecy, so much secrecy. Not just secrecy, but deliberate attempts to cover up, hide and outright deny the truth of what was happening. Then using scripture – out of context, to wort off anyone who tried to expose the truth. However, even with my past, my longing for community in a church family caused me to slowly open to the people at my new church. Because church should be safe, right? I prayed this church was healthier than the others were. Over time, I began to feel safe (or maybe my loneliness just became too much) and I threw my whole self into serving and loving the people there. I trusted them with my heart, unfortunately, little by little, things began to pop up that seemed off. At first, I looked the other way and put energy into not seeing it. Probably out of fear of being shunned like I was in earlier churches when I confronted similar concerns. When I couldn’t ignore things any longer, I convinced myself I was just paranoia due to past wounds. Unfortunately, no matter what I tried, it got hard to “not see”. When efforts were made to address concerns by either myself or others, we were either ignored, lied to or shut down and then labeled “troublemakers”. When a last attempt to bring truth was silenced, we had no choice but to shake the dust from our feet and leave like so many others had.

I’ve got to be honest; even though this wasn’t our first rodeo, we were still shaken. We believed this church was different. That we had made real friends in Christ. But their refusal to hear the truth was hard. Most members were unaware of the abuse because discussing church leadership issues was discouraged to “protect” the community. But in truth, it was not meant to protect them. It was meant to keep the leadership lies alive and their secrets hidden. For our friends to trust the liars instead of the ones trying to reveal truth was hard. Our perspective was dismissed, and I faced online criticism from those unaware of the full situation. When I reached out to them privately to try and talk, they refused and instead ‘unfriended’ me. We were shunned by the community we loved and served based solely on the lies told to them by the church leadership. Why? What were they so afraid of? What were they protecting? Their positions? Surely not the church body who deserved to know the truth.

The song in the shower triggered all the pain from these and earlier hurts. Reminding me that my trust had been broken . . .  again. The struggle to know what to trust or what to believe was still alive. This all caused me to feel off kilter and was overwhelming at times. I worried I may never recover from this, on this side of heaven.

When I first began to see red flags of power and controlling abuse at our church, I wondered if it was really that bad or if it was just me, so I kept going. Until I couldn’t anymore. And now, the longer I’m away, the more I learn of how deep the deception and cover up is and how long it’s been going on, with no one able to stop it. Sadly, during this journey I’ve learned this isn’t just going on in the churches I’ve attended, but in churches all over the world. You’d think that would confirm my thinking, but instead it breaks my heart. And I’m sure it breaks God’s heart. (Listen to the Julie Roys Report Podcasts.)

What would you have us do now? Who can we trust? I understand we are all human and sinners. I understand in life there will be hurt, forgiveness and healing. But this seems so much bigger Lord. Who will hold them accountable if your people don’t have the courage to seek the truth and speak up? Isn’t that what Jesus taught us to do when He went into the temple? Isn’t that what scripture is teaching and demands of us? To tell the truth? To honor God and hold bad leaders who don’t honor you accountable? I know parishioners assume elders hold leaders accountable, but what if they do not? What if they are part of the problem? Or the entire problem?

I believe we have lost sight of God and missed what God intended His church to look like. The Church should be a safe place with Christ as our leader, not people who want to reign over us and have us blindly follow them no matter what they do or how they dishonor God. Maybe someday in the future there will be such a church. But the current church has proven to me that it is “the least safe” place on earth to be. At times, it’s downright dangerous. I’m not sure what all this means or what the Lord wants us to do with it. So, I stay…sheltered in place. Protecting my heart, which is the only way I know how to stay safe. But if that’s not what you want Lord, then speak to my heart. Show me and others if we are to play a role in bringing reformation to Your Church and if so, what that will look like. Help us to truly bring honor and glory to You right where we are, whether that’s at home or within the church building.

Where does my help come from?

I heard a speaker say the 45-billion-dollar self-help industry is crumbling. I wondered why. There are so many good, helpful books out there.

In doing research I stumbled onto a blog about the benefits/dangers of self-help books. It was remarkably interesting with different points of view. For example, there were commenters that thought self-help books were useful, while others believed strongly that the Bible should be our only guide. Then others added they thought self-help books were too humanistic and not aligned with biblical teachings. Still others felt we should not focus on our “SELF” at all. Others felt self-help books were okay if you had a good foundation in the WORD so you could discern truth from falsehood.

I found this blog to be interesting because I am a self-proclaim “Self Help Book Junkie”.

Growing up in an extremely dysfunctional family, I realized quickly that the only way I could ever hope for a healthy family of my own – was to get different information.

At age nineteen, I became a Christian and began reading the Bible AND anything I could to teach me to be a better wife, a better mother and a better friend. Almost everything I read was Christian based and extremely helpful. I was diligent in implementing what I read and learned. So, I loved my self-help books. They, along with the Bible gave me a benchmark of what a healthy home should look like.

However, over the years I realized that even though I loved the Lord with all my heart, and could see how He had blessed me, I still had some areas in my life that I felt I could handle on my own. I believed I could read enough, learn enough, apply enough to heal myself; to protect myself. But what I discovered was . . . I AM NOT GOD. Wow. I realized that even if a self-help book is helpful, if I’m not connected and looking to the Vine as my source, then the only help it can offer . . . is temporary help. For true lasting healing and help, we must look to the source of life. I had to humble myself and ask for His help in navigating me through my healing journey instead of thinking I could do it on my own.

So my comment on that blog would be; The 45-billion-dollar self-help industry is crumbling because the industry has taken God out of the healing/growing equation. And apart from God, there is no real help or healing! Don’t get me wrong, I believe God can use anything to teach us, to grow us and to heal us. Even self-help books. If, we recognize the actual healing comes from HIM. Not from the books we read. Not from the teachers or preacher we listen to. Not from trying to do it in our own power. It comes from being tied to HIM.

John 15:1-8 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit, he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word, I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in youNo branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.”

Simply put by Lori

Coping with Tragedy

Recently, my community experienced a significant tragedy, and as a result, many individuals, myself included, are facing considerable challenges, and some do not know what to do with their pain.
When a community experiences tragedy, the first thing we need to do is recognize that the tragedy effects all of us in different ways. Certain individuals show immediate responses to stress, while others may experience delayed reactions. But be assured, the stress from it will occur.
As Christians, we know our friends are in Heaven and that we will see them again. But the loss of them here, today, is something that needs to be grieved. Understanding that what we are feeling is normal can help.
I know there will be some that may feel more fearful, others may start to relive past traumatic experiences. A common reaction is feeling a sense of loss, helplessness, or numbness. Still others may experience brain fog and struggle to focus or feel nervous or on edge with difficulty sleeping. These are normal human responses to tragedy.
Here are some tips that I pray may help if you too are struggling.
• Talk about your experiences and get support from family, friends, and co-workers.
• Share good memories of the lost loved one(s) with others.
• Share photos of them.
• Seek support and companionship from your church family or other supportive community members.
• Take care of yourself and try to keep yourself in a normal routine if you can.
• Avoid using alcohol and drugs to suppress your feelings. It is important to let them out. Suppressing your grief only delays the inevitable and may come out in unhealthy ways later.
• Keep in mind that returning to the way you felt before the event may take some time.
• If your distress continues or you have trouble managing your feelings, talk to a pastor, psychologist, social worker, or professional counselor.
• And most important, take it to the feet of Jesus. He is ready and waiting to comfort us.

Me Too.

By Lori Maas

It was two days until the retreat, and I still didn’t know what to say when I shared my testimony. “Why me Lord?” My stomach was burning. I tried to reason with God, “Lord, I can’t imagine anyone from church wanting to hear my testimony. And even if they do, I really don’t think I want them to know my family secrets. I want to fit in Lord. All my life I felt like a square peg trying to squeeze into a round hole. I finally felt at home with my church family. What if they reject me when they learn the truth about me?

My friend prayed and encouraged me to trust that God would give me the words. In obedience, I promised to be faithful and share whatever He wanted, even if it was hard. I stared at the blank page in front of me, pen in hand, waiting for the words to come. Just then the phone rang. The caller ID said it was mom. “Hello?”

I was surprised to hear Barry’s voice as he slurred his words, “Lor, your mom is in the hospital, and you need to go there.”

“What? Where?”

“The one in McHenry.”

“I can’t go to Illinois today, but I’ll call her. What’s her room number?”

“You can’t call her; they moved her into intensive care today.”

“What? Today? When did she go in?”

“Two days ago. She didn’t want me to call, but I can’t deal with this anymore.”

I was so angry. Both of my brothers moved away years ago, and her boyfriend was an unhealthy abusive drunk. Like always, I was the only one left to clean up the mess that other people made.

I called my husband to tell him what was going on. I ranted on and on about all the reasons why I couldn’t go to the hospital now. He patiently listened. When I finally took a breath, he calmly said, “Honey, you have to go.” I slammed the phone down. Why can’t he be on my side!! No one is ever on my side!

I called to talk to mom’s nurse, hoping she’d tell me mom was better and there was no need to hurry to the hospital. However, when I asked the nurse about her condition, she told me she could only talk to family. I explained I was family, her daughter. She told me no daughter was listed. Typical. All she could say was mom was extremely sick, and I should talk with the doctor. My tears started to fall before I hung up the phone. My sadness quickly turned to anger – then to rage.

I ranted and paced back and forth for over an hour. The hospital was 2 hours away. I don’t have time for this! I cried, screamed and even hit the chair with my fists, “She was never there for me, ever, why should I be there for her. She doesn’t even want me there. She doesn’t even acknowledge that she has a daughter! So, send someone else! I am not going. You cannot ask me to do this. I am NOT going, and you cannot make me!”

Finally worn out from wrestling with God, I whispered, “Lord, you sent a friend to me when I needed someone to encourage and love me. Can’t you send someone like that to mom.” And He softly answered, “I did, I sent you.”

I sat on the floor, exhausted. “Lord, if you want me to help her, let me see her through your eyes, because humanly, when I look at her, all I see is rejection, abuse and pain.” He instantly gave me a picture of my mom as a precious little girl . . . before she experienced physical, sexual, or substance abuse. He said, “This is how I see her.”

I had a peace wash over me. I called my husband to tell him I was going to the hospital. Then I called my friend who lived near the hospital to see if I could stay at her house. She said “of course” and offered to call her pastor to ask him to visit my mom.

The pastor appeared shortly after I arrived. He introduced himself and began to ask questions. “So, where are you from?” I thought he was asking mom but when I looked up, he was looking at me. “Oh, me?”

“Well, I’d like to get to know both of you.”

Mom said she was born in Minnesota. He looked at me and I answered, “me too”.

He asked if I was raised with siblings. She said, “two younger brothers.” I said, “me too”. He asked more questions, and when the answers continued to be the same, he said, “Wow, you two are a lot alike.” I did not like hearing that. I used to hate when anyone told me I looked, sounded or was funny like her. I did not want to be anything like her.

The next day, mom was stable, so I headed home to get ready for the retreat. On my drive I was thinking about what the pastor said, “Wow, you two are a lot alike.” I started thinking about all the ways we were alike; we both were born in Minnesota, both grew up with 2 younger brothers, both loved to dance, both had a sick sense of humor, both had alcoholic fathers who sexually abused us, both had distant, bitter mothers, both were in abusive first marriages, both were divorced, both remarried a man that was 6’3”, and so many more similarities. It was eerie.

So, what happened Lord? What’s the difference between us? Why are we so different in important things like family, love and respect? That’s when it hit me.

The only difference was Jesus. I knew Him, she didn’t. That was it. How could I judge her so harshly? If it were not for Jesus, His grace, mercy and redemption, what would I be like? I started to weep and asked God to forgive me and give me a heart for my mom. I began praying for her salvation again . . . but this time in a loving, non-judgmental way. That’s when I knew what I was to share at the retreat. This story.

Simply put by Lori

P.S. A name may have been changed in this story, but the only name that really matters wasn’t changed . . . JESUS.

Seeing the Dark Side

“If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.” Dr. Leaf

One of the biggest struggles in my life to this day is the battle going on in my head. It’s no wonder why I’m so exhausted. Left to its own, my mind generally goes to negative thoughts.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been asked why I always go to the dark side of everything. I used to joke and tell them that the dark side was my point of reference. And as it turns out . . . that was an accurate statement.
In my search for answers, I’m learning that abuse victims are sub-consciously hyper vigilant about looking for the negative in things to protect themselves from further hurt or harm.
Apparently, our human brains are wired to look for negative in everything to protect ourselves. That’s why the media caters to feeding the negative finder in our brain. So, it makes sense that people who have been abused or gone through some type of trauma, would have difficultly shutting this off.
Healthy humans who have never dealt with a traumatic experience, can eliminate the negative information the media blasts out simply by shutting off the tv or radio and choosing to read a good book or listen to positive motivational audios.
However, the hyper vigilance of the abuse victim/survivor finds negative in just about everything. . . even in good things. It was an instinct, meant for survival at some point in their life, that now prevents them from enjoying life and moving toward their dreams and goals. This statement is not meant as an excuse, simply an understanding of the problem so we can look for a solution.
Dr. Caroline Leaf believes rewiring our brains is the answer.
If a child is born without any arms, when attempting to teach them how to eat a fork, do you continue to tell them, “Use your hand and hold the fork this way. That is the way I’ve taught all the others.” And when they tell you they can’t do it that way, do you then tell them “Well then if you’re unwilling to do what I say then I can’t coach you.” No, a teacher/leader/coach can admit they don’t know how to do this because they have never done it before and either find someone who has and learn from them, so you can teach others or send them to that person to learn from them.
You don’t have to tell me I’m negative and always look at the dark side . . . I already know that. Instead, teach me how to get past this. Don’t make me feel even more unworthy of your time because I can’t do things the way you think they need to be done. Or act like I’m “just not ready to move on” because I say I can’t pick up the fork with arms and hands I don’t have. Teach me to eat another way.
Stop telling me I have a victim mentality. I have a voice that is trying to tell you that I’m not like you. I don’t respond like you do, or think like you do, or learn like you do, or am motivated by things that motivate you. I am not blaming my abuse – I’m simply saying the fact that it did make changes in me that I now must compensate for. Like the child born with no arms must learn to eat using utensils with their feet, I too must find different ways to not only survive but succeed at the things God has called me to do.
Just like no amount of shaming is going to cause the child to grow arms, shaming will not cause me to turn into Pollyanna.
“Studies have shown that childhood abuse unleashes a chain of negative emotions that can impact an individual’s future, producing feelings of shame, isolation, self-loathing and educational underachievement,” said author Rosemary C. Reilly, Ph.D. However, I don’t believe this is a life sentence and that I am destined to live an unsuccessful life, on the contrary! I know God is with me, using me to conduct His purpose. I just need mentors who understand this. And if I can’t find one, may God raise me up to be one for others.
“For survivors of childhood abuse, relationship and connection are what really matters and what successful mentorship is all about,” said Reilly.

Simply Put by Lori Maas

Where has the time gone and where am I going?

It seemed like it was just 2000 and everyone was worried about Y2K . . . now, it was 2010 and I wondered where the last ten years had gone. I asked myself what I had done in the previous ten years. It made me wonder how fast the next ten years would go by. . . and I blinked, and it was 2018.

We have all heard the quotes: “He who fails to plan, plans to fail”. Or another one of my favorites is, “To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.” by Anatole France.

This makes me ask myself, “Where do I want to be in 2020?” “What do I want to have accomplished?” It makes me want to focus and not waste a single day. The author Anatole France says we are to act, to dream, to plan and to believe. I think it should be to dream, to plan, to act and to believe. So that is what I’ll do!

How about you? What is your long-term vision for your life? Where do you want to be in 2 years? In five years? In ten years? What are you willing to do to get there? How big are your dreams?

“What a remarkable and hopeful portrait of the endless adaptivity of the human brain God has given us.”
― Caroline Leaf

Terrific Twos by Lori Maas

I was going through my MANY files of articles written and I found this one.

Happy Second Birthday to Life Leadership! Life members celebrate two wonderful years today. It seems like just yesterday Life was launched. I believe we truly are entering into the “Terrific Twos” of the Life Business!

As I write, I can’t help but think about our other terrific two-year-old, our beautiful granddaughter Brooklyn. We had the privilege of taking her Trick or Treating this year. Her wonder, curiosity, excitement and caution were so much fun to watch. Even though everything in her world is changing daily, she displays both courage and curiosity that stretch her to constantly try to do new things. It is inspiring.

When I think about the development changes that will be in her life as a terrific two-year-old, I wonder if similar changes will occur in Life Members this year. Here are the similarities I discovered.

A Toddler’s Developmental Tasks this year:
Toddlers Task: Rapid physical and brain development
Life Members Task: Rapid physical and brain development through reading, listening, associating and mentoring.

Toddlers Task: Rapid acquisition and use of vocabulary and verbal rules
Life Members Task: Share information they are learning with others. While doing this the speakers in our community are becoming some of – if not the, best Leadership speakers in the world.
Toddlers Task: Learning how to stay connected to you while she becomes herself.
Life Members Task: Stay connected to a positive, encouraging group of fellow entrepreneurs that help us become all we were meant to be. Listen to mentors that teach us how to be in business for ourselves by not by ourselves. Attend every opportunity for iron to sharpen iron.
Toddlers Task: Development of Agency (sense of oneself as a powerful, competent person able to act upon the world).
Life Members Task: Develop the confidence to make a difference in our world by learning what our gifts and talents are, how to serve our God and His people, and leave a lasting legacy individually and corporately by helping others to reach their full potential.

Parenting Challenge:
Toddler Parents: Keeping your sanity while your baby grows into her own person.
Life Members: Keeping your sanity while your business grows into a huge community full of wonderful leaders.

4 Parenting Priorities:
Toddler Parents:
1. Keeping your child safe as she explores.
2. Giving up control so he can develop mastery over his world.
3. Enjoying her emerging independence and curiosity.
4. Staying positive!

4 Life Business Priorities:
Life Members:
1. Provide a safe encouraging environment to grow and learn in.
2. Teach and allow members to think and act for themselves and offer innovative ideas.
3. Celebrate members’ achievements and victories.
4. Always stay positive, reframe and move onward.

According to John Bowlby, “The first three years of life establishes the blueprints for all of our future relationships.” – I think both Brooklyn and LIFE Leadership are off to a great start! What do you think?

Women in the Church

Reposting An Interesting Article . . .

Can Women Lead in the Church?

By J. Lee Grady

Gender bias runs deep in the church and has historically prevented women from fulfilling their leadership call. It’s time to dispel the myths about the role of women. Let’s open our eyes to what the Bible really says.

When delegates to the Southern Baptist Convention’s annual meeting gathered in 1929, leaders agreed to allow the president of the Women’s Missionary Union (WMU) to address their group for the first time. But when she stood to speak, a number of male delegates got up from their chairs and stormed out of the room in protest. They caused such a commotion that the Baptists were forced to hammer out an odd compromise: They decided that the WMU president could only speak if she gave her report in a Sunday school room rather than in the main hall.

The reason for this uproar was that certain male clergy were afraid that by allowing a woman to speak from a pulpit, she would violate what they called “the dictum of St. Paul”–the apostle Paul’s directive in 1 Timothy 2:12 in which he prohibits women from having “authority over a man (NASB).” It isn’t clear why this poor WMU president did not exercise as much authority over her male audience when she spoke in a smaller room. In fact, what the Baptists did in this case was irrational. The same can be said for the completely illogical way the church today views the issue of women in spiritual authority.

Today, because so many conservative Christians have viewed 1 Timothy 2:12 (“I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man”) as a universal injunction–to be applied to all churches at all times–we have cultivated a bizarre fear of strong women who preach or teach. This is a strange view indeed, for three reasons:

**First, we know from Scripture that women held the office of prophet under the Old Covenant, and that under the New Covenant the apostle Paul himself placed women in positions of authority in the early church, even at a time when females in secular society were barred from pursuing education or leadership roles.

**Second, the Bible challenges men and women alike to be strong and courageous in their faith and in their response to the Great Commission. There is no reason to assume that Jesus only intended males to evangelize the world. Both men and women are called to “go” and to “teach.” Timidity is never portrayed as a virtue in the Scriptures, for either gender.

**Third, the history of Christianity is full of examples of strong, godly women who achieved remarkable breakthroughs for the kingdom of God. To say that women should not display spiritual strength or do exploits in the name of Jesus is to discredit everything that Christian women have done throughout history to further the gospel.

If we want to stake a claim that women shouldn’t lead the church, are we prepared to say that everything women have done to expand the kingdom of God was a mistake? Is the Salvation Army an illegitimate organization because a strong, vocal woman preacher was a driving force behind it? Do we really want to negate the countless missionary breakthroughs made in the 19th and 20th centuries in China and India, since so many women–such as Amy Carmichael, Bertha Smith or Marie Monsen–were responsible for the pioneering work there?

If we look at the history of revival movements, it is clear that whenever there has been a deepening of spiritual passion and holiness in the church, and a corresponding call to evangelism, women have responded to the call to ministry even when it was culturally unacceptable for them to do so. This was true during the Second Great Awakening in the United States, which unleashed an army of women to fund missionary movements and to lead the abolitionist cause. It was also obvious in the early days of the Pentecostal revival, which mobilized women preachers to blaze trails in foreign and domestic mission fields. These women, including healing evangelist Lilian Yeomans, Carrie Judd Montgomery, Minnie Draper, Ida Robinson, Aimee Semple McPherson and Florence Crawford, started churches that still flourish today.

These women were not looking for a spotlight or a pulpit, nor were they out to win an argument or to prove that women are better than men. They were prayer warriors who loved the Word of God and used it skillfully to combat the evils of their day. They were mothers of the faith who nurtured new converts with the milk of salvation and trained their disciples to pursue spiritual maturity.

Women who have given their lives to serve Jesus on the front lines deserve our respect. But in the American church, we typically have turned our backs on our sisters when they have dared to suggest that God has drafted them into His army. The strongest and most determined of these female warriors learned to endure the ridicule; but we will never know how many women gave up the fight and abandoned the call because the church required them to bury their spiritual gifts.

Adding insult to injury. Women in many denominations today have encountered rejection when they stepped out in public ministry. Jill Briscoe, a prominent evangelical author who pastors a church with her husband in Milwaukee, told Christianity Today in 1996 that she was silenced a few years ago when she began to teach the Bible to a group of 3,000 teen-agers at a youth conference.

“I introduced my subject and opened the Scriptures and read them and began to explain them,” Briscoe said. “At that point a pastor stood up and told me, ‘Stop! In the name of the Lord!’ and said that I was out of order. He then rebuked my husband, saying that he should be ashamed to allow his wife to usurp his authority. He then took his young people out, and several other people followed.”

In some charismatic and Pentecostal circles, the label “Jezebel” is often pinned on women who have teaching or leadership skills, or simply because they express their opinions to their pastors. The insulting implication is that any Christian woman who steps outside the lines of ecclesiastical propriety and presumes to speak for God or displays any level of courage is labeled rebellious or conniving.

Pinning the Jezebel label on a woman of God is a blatant attempt at character assassination. After all, Jezebel was the personification of evil. We read in 1 Kings 18-19 that she wielded tyrannical power over Israel through her spiritual ties to the cult of Baal. From her position as queen, sitting beside King Ahab, Jezebel was responsible for the murder of many of Israel’s true prophets. Her strategy was to intimidate the righteous followers of God while promoting Baal worship–so that the sexual perversion associated with her brand of paganism would eventually control the entire country.

This queen was eventually overthrown, along with her wicked husband, but she is mentioned again in the New Testament as a metaphor for sexual immorality and occult deception. In the apostle John’s message to the church in Thyatira (Rev. 2:20), he issues a warning from Christ about the “woman Jezebel” who “calls herself a prophetess, and she teaches and leads My bond-servants astray, so that they commit acts of immorality and eat things sacrificed to idols.”

Jezebel was most likely not this woman’s real name. John used a form of code language in the book of Revelation to protect the vulnerable churches from persecution. He pinned the name Jezebel on this self-appointed female church leader in Thyatira because she was claiming to speak for God and yet was promoting sexual sin and idolatrous worship. She represents the ultimate false prophet, and it is insidious to compare her to godly Christian women who are teaching and preaching the truth of the gospel.

It is offensive to suggest that a woman who loves Jesus Christ, walks in personal holiness and upholds the Word of God with integrity is influenced by a “spirit of Jezebel”–just because she is female! Yet I have lost count of the number of women who have told me that they were accused of being a “Jezebel influence” because they functioned as a pastor, an evangelist or a even lay leader.

Silly superstitions. Five hundred years ago, Protestant reformer John Knox taught that God brings a curse on a nation if it is governed by a woman. Never mind the fact that most nations in that period were led by wicked kings who did not honor the law of God or abide by any rule of Christian integrity. Yet Knox believed the moral condition of a nation would slide abruptly into hell if a queen took the throne.

In a tract he wrote in 1558 titled “The First Blast Against the Monstrous Regiment of Women,” the Scottish reformer wrote: “If women take upon them the office which God hath assigned to men, they shall not escape the divine malediction.” Although he directed most of his attack on two Roman Catholic queens, Mary Tudor of England and Mary Guise of Scotland, and he referred to them both as “Jezebels,” Knox made it clear that he believed that God always opposes women who hold positions of authority.

That same view still lingers in the modern church. In the early 1980s, when so many religious conservatives were active in the political arena in the United States, some of them opposed President Ronald Reagan’s appointment of Judge Sandra Day O’Connor to the Supreme Court. Their fund amentalist views of male headship in society did not allow for a woman to assume a top position in civil authority.

Justice O’Connor isn’t the most conservative jurist on the high court, and I don’t appreciate her position on abortion. But she did not lead our nation to ruin, any more than Margaret Thatcher’s 11-year term as prime minister triggered the downfall of Great Britain. In fact, in the mid-1990s, some of the most vocal women elected to the U.S. Congress were Bible-believing, evangelical Christians who stood bravely against the status quo by challenging legalized abortion, the tobacco industry and foreign aid to countries that tolerate religious persecution.

In many churches in the United States, Christian men have developed a superstitious notion that if they listen to a woman preach, or if they attend a Sunday school class taught by a woman, or even if they allow a woman to provide any form of spiritual counseling to them directly, they are violating an unwritten law that forbids women from occupying a place of authority in their lives. They also fear that if they do this, they will come under some type of spell that leaves them deceived and spiritually weakened.

This is rooted in a fear that if a man submits to a woman even by listening to her counsel, his own maleness will be diminished. How foolish! If the Bible is our guide, and not cultural bias, then we need to consider the many times in Scripture when women influenced men or exercised godly authority over them.

Judges 4 tells us that at one time in history a woman held the highest position of spiritual authority in Israel. The Bible clearly states that God anointed Deborah as judge of Israel, gave her wisdom and prophetic counsel, and granted a 40-year period of peace as a result of her effective leadership (see Judg. 4:1-5). And the men who honored her authority were blessed.

We read in Judges 4:8 that Barak, Israel’s chief military commander, refused to go into battle without Deborah after she unveiled the Lord’s strategy to defeat the Canaanites. It was not an admission of fear on Barak’s part when he asked Deborah to accompany him into the fray. He was not a “mama’s boy” who felt unsure about his masculinity.

On the contrary, Barak recognized that Deborah was an anointed servant of God, and that the mantle of heaven’s authority rested on her. Because she had the plan of victory, he wanted to stay close to her. He simply refused to fight without the Lord’s prophet by his side.

In today’s church, we need an army of Baraks who are so desperate to hear the word of the Lord that they are willing to humble themselves and receive it from whomever God chooses to speak through–even if that prophet is a woman. We as men need to swallow our male pride and our haughty “I know better than you, dear” attitudes. If we are truly walking in spiritual brokenness, we will not care whether the Holy Spirit speaks through a man, a woman, a child or a donkey. We will simply want God, and we will place no stock in the imperfect clay vessel God chooses.

Where are the Priscillas? In Acts 18:24-28, we read that a skilled preacher named Apollos, a zealous convert from Judaism, was teaching the message of Jesus in Ephesus. But because he had never been instructed properly about water baptism or the infilling of the Holy Spirit, Paul’s co-workers, Priscilla and Aquilla, took him aside and “explained to him the way of God more accurately (v. 26).”

Was Apollos spiritually emasculated when he submitted to Priscilla’s correction? Absolutely not. His ministry was strengthened because of the helpful input he received from this wise disciple, who most likely functioned in an apostolic role as a teacher and church planter. She is commended by Paul as one of his “fellow workers” in Romans 16:3. And in 1 Corinthians 16:16, the apostle urges his followers to submit to “everyone who helps in the work and labors.” Since “everyone” in this passage obviously includes Priscilla as well as Junia, Phoebe and the other women who assisted Paul on his apostolic team, we can clearly see that he asked the early church to acknowledge the authority of the women who worked with him.

Apollos most likely felt indebted to Priscilla and her husband for their mentorship. She became a mother in the faith to him.What would have happened in the New Testament church if Apollos had been too proud to receive correction and theological instruction from her? It’s possible that he would have fallen into serious error, thereby thwarting the work of God in Asia Minor and perhaps even derailing his ministry. What similar pitfalls could be avoided in our day if more men were willing to receive counsel, correction and insight from seasoned women ministers?

There are numerous other examples in the Scriptures of godly women who provided counsel, instruction or correction to men. Huldah the prophetess was sought out by King Josiah’s top leaders for her advice about the spiritual condition of their nation (2 Kin. 22:14-20). When the elderly prophetess Anna recognized that the baby Jesus was the long-awaited Messiah, she proclaimed his identity to his parents and to all who came into the temple. She was, in fact, one of the first people on planet Earth to publicly proclaim the gospel of the new covenant. And the apostle Paul mentions a total of seven women when listing his trusted co-laborers; these were women who functioned as either pastors, evangelists, deacons or apostles.

It seems odd indeed that Christian men would have difficulty accepting the authority of women when every man has had to submit to the instruction and discipline of his own mother. In the Christian family we expect a mother to exercise authority: She not only provides nurturing love and sustenance to her children, but she brings swift discipline when necessary, and her children benefit most when her instruction is rigorous. Don’t we need the same qualities in our spiritual mothers? Shouldn’t we expect them to rule with godly authority?

Most Christian men, whether they admit it or not, would not be where they are today had it not been for the Priscillas and other spiritual mothers who came alongside them at the right time and gave a timely word of encouragement or counsel. Because of insecurity, we think our masculinity is deficient if we admit we need the insights that these women provide. The church as a whole would be better off if we would ask God to shatter our male pride so we can make room for these women to function in their divine giftings.

Strength is her clothing. Nowhere in the Bible are women called to be weak. A careful study of women in Scripture reveals that the godly women who served His purpose in their generation displayed courage, endured hardship and exercised the kind of faith that overcomes impossible odds. Righteous women in the Bible did not sit in the back of the church with their mouths shut or wait until they got permission to challenge injustice.

The great women of the Bible were fearless. Remember the Jewish midwives, who put their own lives in jeopardy in Egypt to protect the infants who had been sentenced to death by Pharaoh. Remember Rahab, who disobeyed the authorities in Jericho because she knew God was with the Israelite spies. Her faith saved her household and placed her in the lineage of Christ. Remember Esther, who placed her own life on the line because she believed God could use her to turn the heart of a king and save thousands of lives.

If we examine the “model woman” described in Proverbs 31, it’s obvious that she is not a mousy housewife or a timid wallflower. She did not allow patriarchal society to define her worth in terms of her sexuality, her appearance or her mundane domestic duties. We are told that she “girds herself with strength, and strengthens her arms” (v. 17, NKJV). This doesn’t mean she was a female bodybuilder; the passage refers to her strength of character and her readiness for spiritual battle.

A major misconception in the church today is that women were created to be weak and shy, and that it is abnormal or even perverse for a woman to display qualities of strength. Rather than argue about whether women are weak, can’t we acknowledge that we are all just clay vessels? Whether male or female, we are frail in our humanity and in our tendency to sin. None of us who aspire to the ministry can ever hope to see lives changed by Christ’s presence if we rely on our own fleshly abilities. We are called to glory in our weakness so that He might be strong in us.

It’s time for the weaker vessels to come forth. Christian women who have lived in the shadows of insignificance need to arise and put on strength. This is the hour that Joel foretold, a time for both the sons and the daughters to prophesy. Women of God, you can’t be silent anymore!

Don’t Hide Your Gifts Under A Bushel

Dear Christian Women: we too are called to Leadership; so, stop playing life small. Stop living in the shadows of insignificance. God has BIG plans for you and wants to do WONDERFUL things through you for HIS GLORY.

Growing up in the 1960s, in the “I am woman hear me roar” era, then becoming a Christian in the 70s at age 19 – created so much confusion in my thinking. I wanted to be a good Christian wife, a submissive wife but I also wanted to be all God called me to be. I read the Bible and everything else I could to teach me to be a Godly wife and mother. However, something always felt like it was not right in the things I read. In my opinion, not all the information in the books lined up with what I believed Scripture to be saying. I understand that we see and understand everything through our personal filters or lenses, so I just believed my filters were tainted by the crazy dysfunction I grew up in. So, I dismissed my gut feelings on the subject.

Over the years when Christian leaders preached that it wasn’t scriptural for women to lead anyone except other women or children – I struggle to believe that was truly of God. I searched the Scriptures, not to prove my beliefs but truly to understand His truth in the matter. However, no matter how hard I tried to see what they were saying, all that happened was it reinforced what I originally believed; that we were all created equal . . . and that I as a woman am just as important to God as a man.

That I have gifts and talents that God expects me to use for His glory and kingdom.

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:28

Instead of being satisfied with what I found, I was convinced I must still be not seeing clearly, so I prayed harder and asked God to help me understand and see His truth. I asked for Him to search my heart and open my eyes to the truth of His word. I asked to be led by the Holy Spirit.

However, I found my original beliefs were only reinforced by my study. Now I was faced with finding out what God wanted me to do with this information. I laid it at His feet and waited.

Fast forward through the years to a couple of weeks ago. I was at a Christian book study with other businesswomen. We read a book by an amazing Christian woman. At one point one of the participants in the study commented on how much she enjoyed the book and how refreshing it was to have a woman leader, who leads – like a woman. She went on to say how the women she knows in corporate leadership, lead like men. I commented that unfortunately, they never learned how to lead like a woman because the only examples they have are of men leading and books about men leading.

My friend said “Exactly!” She went on to say that she believes more women leaders – leading as women need to step up and write more on this subject. I agreed, not thinking I was one of the women that needed to write on this topic.

As soon as my friend had finished her comments, another woman pointed out that the author didn’t choose to publish a book. She assured us that the author’s only began writing blog articles because her husband had encouraged her to do so. Then he recently surprised her by turning her blog articles into a book.

The woman continued to tell us that the author at first didn’t want to publish the book. However, her husband persuaded her to allow them to publish it. Our facilitator said that the author argued about publishing the book because she would “never want to overshadow her husband by writing a book.”  WHAT???? I was confused by that statement. Maybe I misunderstood what she meant. Because I couldn’t understand how using the gifts God gave you to bless the world can overshadow anyone, especially your husband?

Do we not become ONE when we marry? Isn’t a wife a part of her husband and a husband a part of his wife? Wouldn’t then when one shines, it shines light on the other as well?

This author has a gift for writing (and speaking) and wasn’t writing her blog articles to gain fame or glory. She was doing it to bless others.

I don’t believe God calls us to play small. Not using the gifts Gods gave us does not honor our husbands nor our God. But don’t take my word for this. Let us consider what the Bible says about this subject.

Before we do can we agree on 2 things?

  1. Would we agree that all Christians, male and female are all part of the body of Christ?
  2. Would we all agree as Christians that Scripture is for both male and female?

Okay then, let’s look at Scripture.

Corinthians 12:7-11 A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other. To one person the Spirit gives the ability to give wise advice; to another the same Spirit gives a message of special knowledge. The same Spirit gives great faith to another, and to someone else the one Spirit gives the gift of healing. He gives one person the power to perform miracles, and another the ability to prophesy. He gives someone else the ability to discern whether a message is from the Spirit of God or from another spirit. Still another person is given the ability to speak in unknown languages, while another is given the ability to interpret what is being said. It is the one and only Spirit who distributes all these gifts. He alone decides which gift each person should have.

Romans 12:6-8 In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So, if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with the faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.

1 Peter 4:10-11 “Each of you has received a gift to use to serve others. Be good servants of God’s various gifts of grace. Anyone who speaks should speak words from God. Anyone who serves should serve with the strength God gives so that in everything God will be praised through Jesus Christ. Power and glory belong to him forever and ever. Amen.”

Exodus 35:10 “Let every skillful craftsman among you come and make all that the LORD has commanded.”

Colossians 3:23-24 “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.”

Romans 12:11 “Never be lazy but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.”

1 Corinthians 4:7 “Who says you are better than others? What do you have that was not given to you? And if it was given to you, why do you brag as if you did not receive it as a gift?” James 4:6 But God gives us even more grace, as the Scripture says, “God is against the proud, but he gives grace to the humble.”

Hebrews 10:24 “And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works.”

Hebrews 3:13 “Instead, continue to encourage one another every day, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.”

Romans 12:4-5 “For as we have many members in one body, and all members have not the same office: So, we, being many, are one body in Christ, and everyone is a member of one of another.”

1 Corinthians 12:12 “For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also, is Christ.”

1 Corinthians 12:27 “All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it.”

Exodus 28:2-4 “Make sacred garments for Aaron that are glorious and beautiful. Instruct all the skilled craftsmen whom I have filled with the spirit of wisdom. Have them make garments for Aaron that will distinguish him as a priest set apart for my service. These are the garments they are to make: a chest piece, an ephod, a robe, a patterned tunic, a turban, and a sash. They are to make these sacred garments for your brother, Aaron, and his sons to wear when they serve me as priests.”

Exodus 36:1-2 “The Lord has gifted Bezalel, Oholiab, and the other skilled craftsmen with wisdom and ability to perform any task involved in building the sanctuary. Let them construct and finish the Tabernacle, just as the Lord has commanded.” So, Moses summoned Bezalel and Oholiab and all the others who were specially gifted by the Lord and were eager to get to work.

Matthew 25:14-21 “Similarly, it is like a man going on a trip, who called his servants and turned his money over to them. To one man he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one, based on their ability. Then he went on his trip. The one who received five talents went out at once and invested them and earned five more. In the same way, the one who had two talents earned two more. But the one who received one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground, and buried his master’s money. After a long time, the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. The one who had received five talents came up and brought five more talents. ‘Master,’ he said, “you gave me five talents.” “See, I’ve earned five more talents.” “His master told him, “Well done, good and trustworthy servant! Since you’ve been trustworthy with a small amount, I’ll put you in charge of a large amount. Come and share your master’s joy!’”

Enough said?

I believe it is time for us to start being who God created us to be and start doing what God called us to do. The reason so many women leaders in the world lead like men, is because they don’t have enough Godly women leading by example. Whether it be due to wrong teaching in the church or home, or a simple misunderstanding of what Scripture says, we see few examples in the world. Women can and should lead – like the women God created us to be . . .and in doing so, we will be more effective in our leadership, doing more for His kingdom.

Simply Put by Lori

According to J. Lee Grady, “Gender bias runs deep in the church and has historically prevented women from fulfilling their leadership call. It’s time to dispel the myths about the role of women. Let’s open our eyes to what the Bible really says”.

Stay tuned for Part 2. I’m going to repost an article by J. Lee Grady

5 ways adult children can honor their parents

I read a great article today and tried to share it but there wasn’t an option. So I copied and pasted it here. I hope that’s okay! The author is Daniel Darling. Enjoy!

By Danile Darling

April 9, 2015
How should an adult child, whether married or single, relate to his or her parents? There is a tension in Scripture between obeying the Scripture which says to “leave and cleave” in forming your own adult identity and family (Gen. 2:24; Matt. 19:5) and obeying the Scripture which says to “honor your father and mother” (Exod. 20:12; Eph. 6:2).

Every family has it’s own rhythm. Every family has its own share of circumstances, from abusive to permissive to annoying, etc. So how one adult child handles his or her parents isn’t necessarily a blueprint for another. Still, the Scriptures seem to indicate an intentional approach to the way we love our parents as adults.

This is a journey I’ve travelled in the last few years. I seem to have endured the typical cycle: being cared for and nurtured by my parents as a child, distancing and forming my own identity as a teen (though still wanting their money and food), thinking my generation will solve all the mistakes my parents made, and finally where I am today—appreciating my parents and figuring out how I can love them better. I’m guessing you’ve travelled a similar road.

As I’ve pondered these important relationships, I’ve come up with five general, though not exhaustive, guidelines for the way adult children should relate to their parents. Here’s the list:

  1. Always respect your parents, even when it is difficult.

By honoring, I think the Bible is saying more—but not less—than simple respect. I’m amazed at how I hear otherwise good, godly people treat their parents. I’ve been in nursing homes where kids are literally yelling and berating their parents. I realize that sometimes parents are not the easiest people to love, but this is why love is something we do in the strength of the Spirit and is not something we primarily feel.

Your parents, regardless of their flaws, brought you into the world. They nurtured and cared for you and loved you the best way they could. Give them some respect, treat them with kindness and deference, and realize that one day you’ll be the one in their shoes.

  1. Find ways to affirm the good things they did in your childhood.

I’m not sure there is a generation with more childhood angst than mine. We really think our parents messed everything up so badly and that we’ll get it just right. I thought this way up until I became a father and realized how difficult parenting could be. I understand the need for catharsis, fleshing out past hurts and using your past as context for your future. But every negative conversation shouldn’t start with, “Growing up…”

Instead, let’s find ways to affirm the good our parents gave us, which is likely a lot more than we think. Let’s tell them to their faces how much we appreciate their care, their love, their goodness. Parents, especially as they age, can be incredibly reflective. They question themselves: Did I do the right thing? They have regrets, and some even have shame. So be an encouragement to your parents. Do this often, and do it with intentionality.

  1. Find ways to bless them in physical ways.

Sometimes this simply means going out for coffee, while listening and letting them talk. Let them tell those same stories they’ve told before. It’s good for them and for you. Or, this might mean lending financial support if your parents fall on hard times without lecturing them. Offer physical support like helping them clean out their home, taking them to doctor appointments, or doing an airport run. And most sacrificial of all, it might mean allowing them, in their advanced age, to stay in your home and care for them.

All of this, I think, is in the spirit of what the Scripture means when it says to “honor your father and mother.” We should make sure they are always well-cared for as best as we can. It’s ironic how the life cycle goes, is it not? Our parents spend their most productive years caring for us, and now we get to return the favor and care for them.

  1. Set healthy boundaries.

You need to set healthy boundaries with your parents so they know where the lines are between your family and them. They don’t always know this, and if the distance is too big, they can often think they are imposing every time they come over. If the distance is too small, it can suffocate your own family. You need to “leave” your parents in the sense that you need to be financially and physically separate as best you can. And you’ll probably have to have some frank conversations at times. Again, every situation is different, so what I’m offering is some general wisdom.

In setting boundaries, always, always, always do it with grace and respect (see number one above). Make sure you are making your own decisions in your family, but don’t hesitate to ask your parents for advice. You don’t have to take it, but you just might learn something from it and make them feel good, as well.

  1. Don’t try to change your parents.

The real way to love and honor your parents is to simply love and honor them, despite their flaws and the annoying things you disliked when you were a kid. Put up with whatever it is they do that annoys you. Do it, not because you’ll get a tangible benefit, but because they are your parents, and you are to love them. Do it because the Father has loved you despite the more-than-annoying things you have done.

Let your parents know they are welcome in your home, that you enjoy having them around, and that they don’t have to walk on eggshells around you. Yes, you’re way of doing family may be different (that’s okay). Your parents will probably give your kids candy before dinner (that’s okay, too). And you’ll find yourself wishing they were a little more this way or a tad more that way. But they are your parents—the ones God gave you—and if you are serious about obeying and following Jesus, you’ll seek to honor and love them the best you can.