simplyputbylori

The wind whispers “come play with me” as it blows through the tree.

But I have so much work to do, ‘I’m busy can’t you see?’

Not taking ‘no’ for an answer, the breeze picks up some speed.

Leaves gently dancing in the sky, following the winds lead.

A large gust blows through the window, shouting aloud and strong.

“Lori come out and play with me”, that’s when I hear His song.

I love the music the wind plays on the chimes by the door.

It beckons me to come outside and speaks right to my core.

I know it’s you Lord calling me to come and sit for a while.

To enjoy all you’ve created, you know it makes me smile.

Thank you, Lord, for calling me out to come and be with you.

Thanks for the wind that gently blows though all you say and do.

Simply Put by Lori

“Everybody is a Genius. But If You Judge a Fish by Its Ability to Climb a Tree, It Will Live Its Whole Life Believing that It is Stupid”. Albert Einstein

Our Pastor quoted this fable today: “One time the animals had a school. The curriculum consisted of running climbing, flying and swimming, and all the animals took all the subjects.

The Duck was better in swimming—better, in fact, than his instructor—and he made passing grades in flying, but he was practically hopeless in running. Because he was low in this subject, he was made to stay after school and drop his swimming class to practice running. He kept this up until he was only average in swimming, but the average was passing so nobody worried about that except the duck.

The Eagle was considered a problem pupil and was disciplined severely. He beat all others to the top of the tree in the climbing class, but he always used his own way of getting there.

The Rabbit started at the top of the class in running, but he had a nervous breakdown and had to drop out of school on account of so much make-up work in swimming.

The Squirrel led the climbing class, but his flying teacher made him start flying from the ground up instead of from the top down, and he developed charley horses from overexertion at the takeoff and began getting Cs in climbing and Ds in running.

The practical Prairie Dogs apprenticed their offspring to the Badgers when the school authorities refused to add digging to the curriculum.

At the end of the year, an abnormal Eel that could swim well and run, climb and fly a little was made Valedictorian.”

So, what was the moral of the fable? Pastor suggested it was that we accept one another’s gifts and talents and quit expecting others to fit into our mold. And recognize that we need each other to use our own gifts and talents within the body of Christ. I agree. However, I think it can go further, more personal. I believe we should each focus on developing our strengths, gifts and talents and not beat ourselves up for our perceived weaknesses.

We are all gifted in something, so we need to stop trying to improve in areas we are not gifted in at the expense of what we are gifted in. For instance, if I am not gifted to do something, yet I keep attempting to make myself do it, I get so stressed out because that is not what God called me to do that I don’t have the time or energy to focus on what I am gifted at and what I am called to do.

That is not an excuse to quit trying to be the best I can be. However, I do believe it challenges us to each look at our talents and gifts and use them in the areas we believe God is calling us to. If we continue to attempt to do what we were not called to do, or to develop in areas that we are not gifted in, not only do we weaken our strengths and natural talents, we also prevent someone who is gifted in that area from stepping up to fill the need. We rob others of using their gifts.

Time to ask God what gifts and talents He has placed in us.

Time to ask God where He wants us to use them.

Time to ask God what we should let go of that He didn’t call us to do.

Simply put by Lori

If April showers bring May flowers, what do torrential May showers bring? Lots of flooding! As I attempted to finish my article on Spring Cleaning for our marriage, I was interrupted by thunderstorms with large hail and driving sheets of rain.

As I watched the rivers of water flow through my back yard, I thought of my poor friends whose basements get wet in a regular shower and I wondered what damage this kind of rain would do. I began to see a parallel between the storm and my topic. . . . In the course of normal living, clutter can build up over time. The longer we leave it unkempt, the bigger the mess. Then, when the torrential storms of life come . . . and they will come, the things we let pile up can be destroyed in an instant.  Back to my friends;

When I spoke with them, I found that the strong winds and rain had indeed flooded their basements. The friends that had their “clutter” under control and their precious keepsake protected didn’t have as much of a mess to clean up. However my friends that had not taken the time to organize and protect the cherished keepsakes were devastated when they found some special mementos in the flooded debris.

I was sad for their loss, but the analogy works in my article because it’s the same in our marriages. If we let life’s clutter (un-forgiveness, anger, bad attitudes, and hurt feelings) pile up instead of taking care of it right away, then the precious things (our love, friendship, trust) can be destroyed. So how do we eliminate the “clutter” and protect the “precious things” in our marriage? Here’s some suggestions.

When I do Spring cleaning in my home, I use a method I learned from Emily Barnes. She developed a six week program called More Hours in My Day to de-clutter your home. In it she taught a system using boxes (or bags) to de-clutter. She told us to label them Put away, Throw Away, and Give Away. We were to make a list of what we had for safe storage. Ie; the attic, basement, closets, etc. Next we made a list of the areas we wanted to de-clutter. Then we made a list of what we would need to do the job. Ie; bags or boxes labeled Put Away, Throw Away, Give Away. Marker to label things. Boxes for storage items.

Next, decide which area you will work on first. She recommended starting in the front hall closet. She told us to a lot enough time to do the job and schedule it in our calendars. She told us to turn off our phones and not answer the door. (That was over 25 years ago! Today I’m sure she would also say to stay off Facebook!) Once we began the job we were to take everything out and examine it. Decide which box it belonged in. Once everything was out and in its proper box, then we could put the closet items back into the closet. We were to stay there until it was completed.  When the closet is back to order, we take the trash out, and take things in the put away box to their proper location. And put the give away box in the car to take to the donation store or to the friend/family you are giving things to.  Then and only then were we to move on to the next area. She suggested our last area to be the kitchen since it will be the biggest job.

So how can we relate the above to our marriage? Here’s an idea . . .

Front hall/closet:

When my husband comes home, do I greet him at the front door with a smile and a hug or with complaints and problems?  Is he glad to come home or afraid to walk in the door for fear of what he’ll see or hear? Have I created a loving home atmosphere for him? Or is it cluttered and chaotic. How did I welcome him home when we were first married? Do I show him how happy I am that he is home? And that I missed him?  Or how much I appreciate what he does for our family?

Throw away: Crabbiness. Bitterness. Selfishness.

Give away: Smiles, Love, Appreciation, Service, Hugs and Kisses.

Put away: Topics and problems that can be discussed after he has had time to eat and relax.

Laundry Room:

Is my mind clean with good thoughts “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” Phillipians 4:8. Our mind is the battlefield. The good news is we can choose what we think about. Instead of thinking about how “he” didn’t take out the garbage or fix that faucet I can think about all he does do for us. Am I letting our dirty laundry (stinkin thinkin) pile up, or am I taking care to clean and repair it as needed?

Throw away: Stained items like arguments, bad memories or non-loving and negative words. 

Give away: Cheerful service. I remember when a lady from my church had to iron MANY table clothes for an event, instead of complaining about the job, as she ironed – she prayed for each person that would sit at that table. I try to remember to do the same when I fold laundry.

Put away: Clean thoughts, memories of loving times together and encouraging words spoken. My son is getting married the end of this month and in my search for good ideas, I found a great one on Pintrest. They suggested that the bride and groom each write a love letter to each other. In it tell the other what they love about them. Then on their wedding day, they put the letters in a box with a bottle of wine and nail it shut. When the “storm” of a big argument comes, they are instructed to open the box, pour two glasses of wine and go to their separate corners to read the letter their spouse wrote to them to remind them of their love for each other. Isn’t that a great idea? You could replace wine with cocoa, coffee or tea if you are a non alcoholic home. The point is; put away good memories and reminders of the TRUTH of your love for each other so you can pull it out in case of an emergency!

Bedroom:

Our bedroom should be a place for privacy, rest, and intimacy.  There are some really great Christian marriage books on the topic of intimacy.  One thing that I know for certain is that the bedroom was meant for a husband, wife and the Lord – that’s it.

Throw away: Baggage from past abuse or incorrect information about the marriage bed. If I find that issues from my childhood may be contaminating this area of my life, I need to seek help.  If I never received good Godly advice on marriage or intimacy, or didn’t have good role models, then I need to seek advice and look for role models from people with loving, Godly marriages. Not from my friends who are struggling with issues of their own. Which by the way, intimacy between a husband and wife should be kept between a husband and a wife and not discussed with friends or on facebook.

Give away: Myself to my husband. Emotionally, spiritually and yes ladies, physically!

Put away: Anything that distracts you from each other; ie; TV, phones, computers, etc.

The living/family room

This area of most homes/marriages might contain habits as a couple for entertainment, hospitality and daily interaction. Is there is something that needs to be cleaned out of this area of your life.

Does the TV distract me from my spouse? While the Bible never says “thou shalt not watch TV,” we would be wise to watch out that good things don’t become distractions from the great things.  Paul said “All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything” 1Corinthians 6:12, 13.

What kind of books am I reading? Spicy Novels? Or books on marriage and relationships that will help me be a better spouse.

What kind of movies or shows do I watch? Would I want to watch it with my children?  Or my parents? Or my pastor?

Well, you get the idea. I’ve written this from my perspective, as a wife. But I believe both husbands and wives should be diligent to not allow ‘clutter’ destroy the precious; the spouse God has given you, the home you share, the special memories of your lives together and the shared dreams for your future together.

Spring cleaning our home requires time, hard work, focus, proper tools and a good plan. So does “spring cleaning” our marriage. If we have let things pile up or have “swept them under the rug”, it’s time for some Marital Spring Cleaning.  Does your marriage need some spring cleaning before the next torrential storm hits? As I write this, I see some areas I need to spruce up! I’d better get busy!

Simply Put . . . by Lori

Lori

Finally!! After one of the longest winters, I can remember – I can see signs of Spring! The snow is gone, the robins are back, and I even see buds on our trees! Yay! I love Spring. It is my favorite time of year. I couldn’t wait for it to be a tad warmer so I could open all my windows and let the fresh air in and force the stale winter smell out of my home.

The forecast that day said it would be “sunny and 60”! I prepared my cleaning supplies, found boxes and labeled them “Give Away”, “Put Away” and put “Throw Away” labels on garbage bags. I couldn’t wait to remove all the clutter that piled up over the long winter. I decided the first area to de-clutter would be my bedroom closet. I quickly open windows and begin my spring cleaning!

Did I mention that we live in the country? Yep, the fresh air I was hoping would pour into my home and fill it with the sweet smell of spring instead now filled my home with the smell of barn yard animals!! Not exactly what I had in mind.

I quickly closed the windows, and my desire to clean was gone. I was looking forward to a time to refresh my home. But alas . . . I would have to wait. Ugh!

As I looked around the room scanning the pile of clutter, I had begun to pull things out of our closet, and it seemed overwhelming. My mind began to wander into other areas of our lives that get cluttered over time, like our relationships for instance. Humm, maybe I could work on that today. I didn’t need to open the windows for that.

I thought about our key human relationships and thought of my marriage. I realized that it too could get cluttered with feelings of unforgiveness or un-released memories of being hurt. Maybe my marriage also needs to be freshened up periodically. I don’t want things to pile up so much that it becomes too overwhelming to deal with. I decided to start my spring cleaning in my marriage.

When I do Spring cleaning in my home, I use a method I learned from Emily Barnes. She developed a program called More Hours in My Day. In it she taught me a system using boxes (or bags) to de-clutter. They are Put away, Throw Away, and Give Away.

So, how do I de-clutter my marriage? I thought about how I could use this same system to do it. Humm, stay tuned to my May article for details! Happy Spring!

Simply Put . . . by Lori

I loved my pastor’s sermon last Sunday. I especially took notice of the scripture reference Mark 3:25 “If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand”. Unfortunately, not just churches struggle with the issue of being divided by conflict. Non-Profit Organizations, Schools, Universities, Ministries and Businesses also struggle with conflict among its members. I personally found similarities between what pastor was teaching when collaborating with large communities of people in our Leadership business. One of the leaders we work with says, “More animals in the barn – more dodo to deal with.” And that is SO true.

I believe Satan uses this tool especially when it comes to doing anything that would bring God glory. We have found that the bigger an organization gets, the more opportunities for issues like this to arise. I say opportunities because that is exactly what they can be. It all depends on HOW we deal with the situation. Let me explain. In a book I recently re-visited, Resolved – 13 Resolutions for LIFE, I read “Conflict resolution is the best teachable moment for blind spots within one’s life”. We all have them, blind spots. It’s easy to see how others “should” act, but hard to see our roll in the conflict. We judge others by their actions and want to be judged by our intentions. In the book Leadership and Self Deception, I learned I need to recognize that we are all human, and therefore make mistakes, and say dumb things. If I want grace, I need to give grace to others. If I genuinely want to live the life God has called me to live, I will have to learn how to deal with conflict in a biblical manner. If I don’t, I could miss valuable lessons God may be trying to teach me, to grow me into the person He needs me to be. So, what are the biggest tools Satan uses to divide God’s people?

Gossip.

The Hebrew word translated “gossip” in the Old Testament is defined as “one who reveals secrets, one who goes about as a talebearer or scandalmonger.” A gossiper is a person who has privileged information about people and continues to reveal that information to those who have no business knowing it. Gossiping to others about your hurt while being unwilling to discuss with the party that hurt you. “If your brother sins against you, go and confront him while the two of you are alone. If he listens to you, you have won back your brother”. Matthew 18:15

Communication Triangulation

This happens when people try to draw others into the gossip from their unresolved conflict just to talk and/or complain; and not for the purpose of resolving the matter. Sometimes the gossip is hidden under the cover of “please pray for me” or “the other person” with no real interest in resolving the matter. Please don’t get me wrong. If we truly are in a situation and have been hurt or upset by something someone did or said, and we need prayer to work through it, all we have to say to a prayer warrior is “I am struggling with something, please pray for me” God knows what it is, we don’t need to air the details to people that are not going to be part of the solution!

So, the only reason I would talk to someone about my hurt/pain would be to the person who hurt me or someone who is or can be part of the solution. “But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses”. Matthew 18:16 I believe everyone should make it a rule that if he or she thinks about a hurt more than once, and is not able to forgive the other party, they will be courageous enough to address the issue promptly. How?

My next article will go through the 5 steps of conflict resolution I learned from Orrin Woodward.

Simply Put by Lori

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